Nothing else you do matters if you're fat

I am 38 years old. I am about 6' 1" and weigh around 230lbs.

This puts my BMI right at the beginning of the Obese range (problems with BMI aside).

I try to focus on what I can do over the numeric value of my weight.

I bike 10+ miles to and from work every day, all year round. I do bootcamp classes.

I run.

I've been running for several years, running my first marathon in 2014. Last fall, I decided to start increasing my mileage. I ran my second marathon in January 2016 and my third marathon in April 2016 plus numerous runs between 18-24 miles.

Then I ran a 50k ultramarathon.

At the time of this post, I've run just over 600 miles this year.

600 miles, 2 marathons, a 50k. All in less than 6 months.

What I didn't realize is that none of that matters because I'm fat.

I was talking to a relative after finishing my 50k and they said "Mark, with the amount of exercising you do, how are you not the skinniest person on earth?!?".

I was so shocked and hurt that I just mumbled out a non-response and walked away.

Months and months of hard work completely negated by the fact that my body doesn't match someone else's expectations.

That relative later apologized (after I mentioned how much their comment had hurt) but I can't quite let it go. I think about it less as time goes by and, eventually, I hope I won't think about it at all.

I want to believe that my body is my own. I want to believe that no other opinions are important.

I want to believe that it doesn't matter than I'm fat.

All posts

  1. A Dad's Guide to Snapchat
  2. The bullshit I put up with by not driving
  3. A restrospective on my wisdom teeth
  4. Waze Wants Me to Die
  5. The Time Kentucky Wanted a Submarine
  6. Phone calls from Mrs. Rothstein
  7. Ani DiFranco, Chinese food, and poor decisions
  8. The sun rises in the East
  9. Scotland, Day 5: The Wedding
  10. I've discovered the secret to true happiness
  11. What's happening at Bowman Field?
  12. More Bardstown Rd Pedestrian Safety Improvements
  13. My favorite video store
  14. Scenes from the weekend: Day of the Dead
  15. A good team needs good company culture
  16. College jobs
  17. I'm scared to run tomorrow
  18. The importance of teaching civil disobedience to our children
  19. That time I hit a kid with my car
  20. Stop blaming and fix the thing
  21. Basics of pedestrian safety
  22. The best (and worst) Halloween
  23. Reflections on Friends
  24. The Interview Where I Completely Froze
  25. Louisville needs to step up its bike-lane game
  26. A Farewell to a Server
  27. Gnocchi is a labor of love
  28. Middle School Shadow Economy
  29. Don't let your weaknesses define you
  30. Tales of woe in the college health center
  31. My favorite painting
  32. The oddity of passing time
  33. My kids are allowed to read anything they want
  34. The young fisherman
  35. Taking the lane
  36. The Soundtrack to Love
  37. Scotland, Day 4: Stirling
  38. An essential computer skill that most people dont know
  39. The nerdiest thing I ever did
  40. Tales of High School Theater
  41. Throwing things off other things
  42. I don't always know why I do things
  43. Passing an object to an ASP.NET MVC Controller
  44. Anger ruins everything
  45. Stories of love and hair
  46. Scotland, Day 3: Edinburgh
  47. Generating a client-side PDF with Javascript
  48. Vernacular: A digression
  49. Scotland, Day 2: Glasgow
  50. I have to enjoy my work
  51. Scotland, Day 1: Traveling
  52. Why I run
  53. My personal beard history
  54. My first nightmare
  55. Moms are tough as fuck
  56. Pedestrian safety improvements on Bardstown Rd.
  57. Free pass to Heaven
  58. The blue bus is calling us.
  59. Screaming with April and Kristin
  60. Viking Girl is growing up
  61. People who love you aren't afraid to call you out.
  62. You sometimes find terrible things on the side of the road
  63. The cure for teen angst is a river
  64. My son is me, but also not me.
  65. How to find out whos building stuff in Louisville
  66. Where's the new Bardstown Rd. Costco?
  67. My son, the mystery
  68. The first poet to blow my mind
  69. Focus on the things you did right
  70. The Saga of John the Baptist: Parts I III
  71. Camp, NOFX and Fire
  72. The magnetic poetry book
  73. Just temporarily disconnected
  74. Please don't ride your bike on the sidewalk
  75. I'm always afraid I'm in trouble
  76. My dog has many smells
  77. Perdido en la selva
  78. Not a wild child
  79. Weird things my kids have said
  80. When I realized I'm a grownup
  81. Crushes and more bad teenage poetry
  82. Me and High School Football
  83. The Mt. Lassen Motel, Red Bluff, CA
  84. The loneliest guy at Chilis
  85. Restaurant Reviews: The Bardstown
  86. My cultural knowledge void
  87. I want to go live in the woods sometimes
  88. The strangest domain name
  89. Sisi means aunt in Italian
  90. Debugging remote ASP.NET apps is super easy!
  91. The time before your child is born is an amazing and terrifying time.
  92. Email, poetry, madness and nostalgia
  93. The house on Klickitat Street
  94. That time I walked a little old Ecuadorian lady home
  95. All the kids I've hit
  96. Lets end the trope of the idiot dad
  97. A reminder about 4-way stops
  98. Ordering pizza in Germany
  99. The Mercy Underground
  100. My bicycle has a 115 dB air horn
  101. The only rule is work
  102. Restaurant Reviews: Havana Rumba (Highlands)
  103. Advice from my mom
  104. What I want in a job.
  105. The Ecuadorian toilet paper incident
  106. The budding photographer or why I cant hear Garth Brooks anymore
  107. Fear and loathing in Milwaukee
  108. Making food for the people you love
  109. Amanda Grimes, I'm sorry
  110. I am the dude with the hat
  111. The art of sneaking out
  112. Foo, bar, and other metasyntactic variables
  113. Freshman year in hell
  114. Vaccinate your damn kids, already
  115. Acts of rebellion
  116. The worst restaurant review ever
  117. I had my first migraine at 10
  118. Storage devices I have loved
  119. Bad teenage poetry #tbt
  120. Your partners problems are your problems
  121. Depression is like being in a loud room
  122. There is an art to asking questions
  123. I am a child of the BBS age
  124. Irrational fears
  125. The worst thing you could be in the 80's was poor
  126. My kids prefer video chats to phone calls
  127. A relationship is a choice
  128. My kids are terrible at knock knock jokes
  129. I gave my dad a haircut today
  130. I am a terrible traveler
  131. Hidden perks of being a blonde kid
  132. Indie music, pre-Internet
  133. Night swimming
  134. Zen and the art of resource editing
  135. Junior Developer, hard lessons learned
  136. Stories and thoughts
  137. I hate notifications
  138. The intimacy of smell
  139. My Geometry teacher was an alcoholic?
  140. You never know fear until you become a parent
  141. I'm tired of all the gun violence
  142. Gaming handhelds I have loved
  143. The glorious act of creation
  144. The overwhelming drive to feed a child.
  145. Why I give coding test during interviews
  146. Pitbull dogs are family
  147. word.camera
  148. Highs and Lows
  149. I ride a bike to be a better person
  150. Just because you're allowed to curse doesn't mean you have to
  151. "I don't know" is an acceptable answer
  152. Naked body surfing in Ecuador
  153. Go fuck yourself with your atom bomb
  154. Never complain about having enough time
  155. Journalism is Dead
  156. Deep is the lizard's eye #tbt
  157. TARC's cashless fare system screws poor people
  158. Writing begets writing
  159. How much do I really remember?
  160. I love the Idaho-Stop
  161. Scary decisions are the best decisions
  162. Never trust your inputs
  163. That one-off thing with the terrible name will be around forever
  164. The joy of difficulty
  165. Anger and regret
  166. I am not a great programmer
  167. Free-writing: Lissie, Live at Brighton
  168. Don't get too hung up on tools
  169. The urge to grow things
  170. I refuse to let this city beat me
  171. Let's talk about interruptions...again.
  172. Bardstown Rd Businesses That Don't Care About Pedestrians (part 1)
  173. Bikejoring or, How to Wear Out Your Dog as Fast as Possible
  174. Thoughts on wasting time
  175. Tragedy and Perspective
  176. On the idea of admiration
  177. The joy of waiting for things
  178. Advice for junior developers
  179. The 4 common ways cars try to kill me
  180. I ran a marathon
  181. The Madness of Saturday
  182. Keeping a daily work log
  183. A frustrating Web.config transformation error
  184. My first century
  185. How _not_ to compare file versions in C#
  186. Auto-incrementing build numbers in Visual Studio 2012
  187. "The definition of the report 'XYZ' is invalid."
  188. Side effects of bike commuting
  189. By the numbers: Coldest ride ever
  190. The difference between 'git fetch' and 'git pull'
  191. Freshman Lunch Shenanigans
  192. Getting an '__doPostBack is undefined' error in IE10
  193. Noticing an odd difference between different implementations of JSON.stringify
  194. How not to make a sale
  195. Prayer for the repose of the dead
  196. You Meet All Kinds of People Cycling
  197. So iBooks Have a Hidden Unique ID
  198. The Three Most Important Pieces of Information for a Kid
  199. 20 Years Later, I Still Can't Read Ramona the Pest
  200. In which I decide not to bother with New Year's Resolutions
  201. I kinda regret deleting my Instagram account
  202. Hacking my eating habits
  203. I have been a dad for 10 years
  204. The most uncomfortable training session ever
  205. Minor hiccup with Google Drive
  206. I love living in The Highlands
  207. A dark start to the day
  208. Renting an Apartment in Boston
  209. I think I need to get over myself a little bit
  210. Making a mobile site behave like an iOS app
  211. Picasa data API fun: Creating albums and uploading images
  212. SVN working copy is nested?
  213. My one, feeble attempt at being a cracker of software.
  214. My Own Personal Daily WTF v1
  215. Get on your bike. No excuses
  216. Pixel level drawing with the canvas element
  217. New Year's Resolutions
  218. How to write a very simple jQuery Plugin
  219. Must-Have Chrome Extensions
  220. Preserving the $ with jQuery.noConflict
  221. Can't load XRegExp twice in the same frame
  222. Converting a Unix timestamp to a real Postgres date
  223. HTML5 Data Attributes and jQuery.data()
  224. Memories Wrapped Up in Music
  225. A poem for our daughters
  226. Handling Windows API Callbacks in VB .NET
  227. My Favorite Explanation of clip: rect();
  228. Basics of QR Codes
  229. Adding/Deleting Events with the Google Calendar API
  230. Basic Authentication with Titanium.Network.HTTPClient
  231. Even better overriding the Firebug console in IE
  232. SQL Management Studio 2008 says Saving changes is not permitted.
  233. Revert to a previous revision with Subversion
  234. Catching Ajax errors with jQuery
  235. Fun with Vim movement commands
  236. Copying ADODB Recordsets Across Databases
  237. The Proxy Pattern in Javascript
  238. Snippet for popping up a jQuery UI Dialog
  239. A Caveat When Declaring Javascript Arrays
  240. With jQuery, Awesomeness Abounds
  241. One-liner to syntax check a Python script
  242. Coding for Doctors in Haiti
  243. Changing an application's favicon in CherryPy
  244. Localizing PHP with gettext
  245. Running a CherryPy app with Apache and mod_python
  246. Basics of the Alternative PHP Cache (APC)
  247. Converting an RFC 3339 date to a Python timestamp(plus an update to my Google Docs backup script)
  248. Flickr REST API Basics
  249. Short list of required web developer tools
  250. Getting the caption of an image attached to a WordPress post
  251. Simple tabbed HTML navigation buttons
  252. Making sure FireBug console calls don't bomb in IE
  253. You have to be able to talk to people
  254. Not breaking the rules, but still being a jerk
  255. Fear
  256. Growing Up Pyro
  257. Locking Down Facebook
  258. Automatically blocking Twitter spam accounts
  259. File modification date/times in Python
  260. SSH Tunneling: Taming the series of tubes
  261. My single-handed destruction of an Ecuadorian cafe
  262. Basic page routing with CherryPy
  263. Demystifying Python Decorators
  264. Handy VBScript ASP syntax shortcut
  265. Twitter Trends: Experimenting with Adobe Air
  266. Getting started with CherryPy
  267. Installing things on Linux is still a pain in the tuchus
  268. Facebook's OpenID Support: Much Improved!
  269. Basic Lighttpd Setup
  270. Be Safe and Don't Be a Jerk
  271. Facebook's OpenID Support: It's cute and all but...
  272. Basics of the PHP PCRE functions
  273. This Bash trick will make your brain explode
  274. Saving the world with PHP array functions
  275. The PalmOS Browser War That Never Was
  276. 8 years today (and 14 years last March)
  277. It's not hard to avoid sounding like a moran moron
  278. Premature Optimization less harmful than Immature Stupidity
  279. Where am I? Where are you?
  280. Using PrototypeJS with Greasemonkey
  281. Yes, it's a camera. No, it doesn't need film
  282. Backing up your Google Docs
  283. Twitter Search API: Make millions, wow your friends.
  284. The shapening
  285. Writing a simple Twitter-bot in PHP
  286. Event handling with PrototypeJS
  287. Sometimes being a dad is all too real
  288. A refugee from the world
  289. HTML Emails for fun and profit
  290. Javascript awesomeness with Prototype
  291. Regular expressions in VBA
  292. Manipulating PDF files with Visual Basic .NET
  293. Google Client Logins
  294. Your data is your life. Why aren't you protecting it?
  295. RAID basics
  296. My .vimrc file
  297. I'm just a little bit starstruck
  298. In which handiness ensues
  299. It begins
  300. Profiling PHP with APD
  301. Fun with Branching Merging
  302. Comment Engine: Round 2
  303. Comment Engine: Round 1
  304. Foray into the Google App Engine
  305. Un-befuddling OpenID
  306. From Javascript to PHP and Back Again
  307. The fun solution is not always the right one
  308. Good Lazy vs. Bad Lazy
  309. Search Replace with vim
  310. The Editor War
  311. Interviewing is hard and annoying
  312. Further Adventures of a Domino's CSR
  313. How I Single-Handedly Further Disgruntled a Disgruntled Domino's Assistant Manager
  314. Further Tales of a Disgruntled Domino's Manager in Training
  315. Domino's Nightly Stoner Encounter
  316. Most bizzare lack of tip on a delivery
  317. The Saga of an Uhappily-Married-Disgruntled Manager at Domino's: Part 1