Stylized line drawing of mark playing the flute

Weird things my kids have said

From 2006 to mid-2014, I wrote down as many of the bizarre things our kids did/said as I could. I haven’t been as dilligent about it lately and I’m starting to regret it.

Here’s a random sampling from the past:

Stuart: β€œDaddy it’s dark outside. It’s nighttime”

Me: β€œThat’s right. It is dark outside.”

Stuart: β€œDaddy? You turn the light on outside?”


β€œDo monsters have penises?”

-Rina, 2006

Jane: Sweetie, you’re not going to school because you’re sick.

Stuart: Am I going to go to home with my friend you?


Stuart: β€œMom, what if people were all chicken nuggets and the pool was the ketchup?”


β€œI’m not famous but I AM awesome.”

-Ivar, 2010

β€œI had one whole year of loneliness.”

-Rina on the birth of Stuart, 2011

β€œMore hugging, less leaving.”

-Ivar, as I was leaving for week, 2011

Ivar: Can cowboys be blonde?

Me: Yes sweetie. A cowboy is just a guy.

Ivar: OK, good.


β€œWere pirates the first people on earth after cavemen?”

-Ivar, 2012

You can’t trim your Mustache. That’s the best part of a man.

-Rina, 2014