Stylized line drawing of mark playing the flute

All the kids I've hit

4th Grade

I was at my friend Corey’s birthday sleepover. It was 2 o’clock in the morning and all I wanted to do was sleep. Corey thought it was hilarious to keep waking me up. I told him I was going to punch him if he didn’t let me sleep so he whacked me with a pillow.

I punched him right in the eye and he fell backwards off his bed and started crying. He had a big black eye the next day and I don’t think I ever got invited back to his house.

6th Grade

There was a kid named Joe who used to pick on me all the time. Grabbing my hat, pushing me around, that sort of thing. He was huge, three heads taller than all the other 6th graders.

We were in gym one day and he started twisting my arm so hard I thought it might fall off. Without even thinking, I turned around and popped him in the mouth. I don’t think it hurt him at all but he was pretty civil to me after that.

8th Grade

I got in a fight with my best friend Russell. I don’t even know what the fight was about. I punched him in the side of the head and he hit me in the eye and then I went home. We were friends again the next day.

9th Grade

My friend Dan from down the street was making crude sexual comments about a girl I really liked. I punched him in the mouth and knocked him through the sliding doors of his closet. We were friends again the next day.

That’s all there is.

I was never a fighter.