Stylized line drawing of mark playing the flute

On the idea of admiration

It's a common occurrence for someone to come up to Jane or I and say things like,

"We see you walking/biking everywhere. Oh, I wish we could do that."


"I feel so bad when I see you guys biking with the kids. I need to do that more."

There's always this sense that they think we're looking down on them. And the simple reality is that we don't care at all.

We just want to do what's right for us. We've set the priorities for our family and everyone else can do things however works best for them.

There is no judgment from us.

On the flip side, Jane and I have both said similar things. We put ourselves down for not doing something the same way as another family. But it's not true. We don't exactly want to be like them. We just like the idea of something they're doing.

Then Jane, who has a magical way of cutting to the heart of matters, said something wonderful.

"I don't want to do whatever-thing-it-was like such-and-such family does. I just admire them for doing it."

And I loved that. That's what I'm going to try and do from now own. When I see someone doing something, I'm not going to judge myself for not doing it.

I'm just going to admire them.